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name Tim C Hose sex male birthday 03.27.81
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
I thought, just for a minute, that I might die today. Kick the bucket, croak, push up sone daisies, or (as Bone Thugs say) decease.A slightly well known fact about me is that I am crazily vulnerable to spicy foods. Jalapenos? No sir! The truth of the matter is that I can barely chew Big Red. It's honestly that bad. A doctor told me once that this means that I'm what's known as a "super taster," so apparently I can taste things better and have a better sense of smell than other people. The tradeoff, though, is this insane weakness to all things spice. Growing up, our taco sauce was ketchup. Rotel scorches my poor little sensitive tongue, and the only peppers I eat are green bell peppers. So! Today I decided to eat some healthy food, and I was looking at wraps from Tropical Smoothie when I stumble upon this little gem of a food item called the "Carribbean Jerk" wrap. Boy howdy did it ever sound like it was right up my alley. Being unfamiliar with it, I decided to give it a go. Of course, what nobody told me was that the devil had personally cooked this little burrito of mouth-death himself, and used the extra "Kill Tim" spice. I bit into this thing, and instantly felt the tingle. Oh man. I thought. This thing is spicy! I'll eat it quick! So I wolfed the poor thing down as quickly as I could because heck, whatever it was going to do to me was going to happen now regardless, right? Not such a smart move as it turns out. My mouth caught fire. Seriously, it was some of the worst pain I've ever had in my mouth. It was like somebody maced my tongue, and then tazered it. My lips were burning, my eyes were watering, and my nose started running. I don't know if you guys know how to get spice out of your mouth or not, but I do from years of fear and scaldings. Bread, my friends. Bread is an amazing little animal that soaks up spice like nobody's business, so I went through my office in search of something bready. Here's the slightly embarrassing part. All I found were cookies. By now, my mouth is in so much hurtful pain that I think my face will burn off of me and that I can probably start breathing fire any time I want to. So, I resorted to what any sane person would at a time like this. I gobbled cookies like a man posessed. I don't know about you, but I find it hard to explain what I'm doing when someone I work with comes into the kitchen and finds me crying while frantically scrubbing my tongue with a Chip's A-Hoy Soft cookie. She stopped, wide eyed. I stopped, as wide eyed as I could. Then... scrub. scrub. Silence. Staring. scrub... Yeah, it was pretty awkward for me. Anyways! My mouth got better thanks to those emergency cookies, so all I have to say now is this: God bless you, Nabisco. scrub TimChose [
3:49 PM ] |