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Tuesday, January 04, 2005
It's late.
It's always late for me on this guy, it seems. It certainly was that way this summer, when I was just writing. I'd get home from work late and then sit at my computer and peck away. I had more time to write then. Tonight I also have some time and a story, so kick back, fool! The Bible is a fun thing. Religion as a whole is a fun thing, and it's really interesting to see people who take the Bible totally out of context, or totally forget the whole thing. My friend Peter and I were in Wal*Mart one day in the check out line, when this little funky guy comes up behind us. I took one look at him and my mind instantly shouted, "Hermit!" The man was the perfect movie hermit. He was a skinny little guy with an enormous white beard, wearing (I kid you not) a grass hat, green shirt, potato sack pants, and sandals. He was darned cute, that's what he was. I entertained the thought that amazing words of wisdom would flow out of him, somehow making me a better person, kind of like Yoda. What I got from the man was that he pointed at the beef jerkey that I was buying and exclaimed in a high, squeaky, uncomfortably loud voice, "Those who eat meat... shall die!" I was quite taken aback. "Excuse me?" I said to him. Again he proclaimed, "Those who eat meat... shall die! The Bible says, 'Death unto the eaters of flesh'!" "Umm.. does it, now? I must have missed that part," I mumbled back at him. "Yes!" The little man squeaked at me, "It's all in the Good Book! Those who eat meat shall die!" By this time, the cashier's eyes were going all googly like the Cookie Monster's, Peter was tucking the jerkey inside his coat, and the line behind he man had somehow disappeared leaving only a panic-stricken vapor. The man was kind of creeping me out, so I cheerfully waved, told him that I probably should go out and read my Bible now, thank you very much, and left. It's amazing how many people think that God is petty. Ahh, I miss my hometown. Someday, when I'm rich and famous, I'll buy a hermit like that of my very own. All the rappers will copy me pretty quick, but I'll be really cool and trend-setting for like, a week. G'night. TimChose [
10:10 PM ] |